Jimmy Gets a Job
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: Whatsername is sick of Jimmy sitting around her house. So what happens when she forces him into a job at McDonald's? REVIEW PLEASE!


**A/N: So I was at McDonald's the other day and it reminded me that I need to get a job and that my friend Robyn works there and she HATES IT. **

**So I thought…what if Jimmy got a job? And this happened! Tada!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN AI OR MCDONALD'S BUT I AM NOW A WARBLER WANNABE!**

Whatsername: Jimmy…

Jimmy: *grumbles*

Whatsername: JIMMY!

Jimmy: *waking up* Whaaaaat?

Whatsername: WAKE UP. It's one in the afternoon.

Jimmy: Cool. *falls back asleep*

Whatsername: *pulls his head up* No. Wake up.

Jimmy: Stop being a bitch…

Whatsername: Stop being a lazy freeloader.

Jimmy: I'm not freeloading.

Whatsername: Let's see…you sleep on my couch, you eat all my food, you steal my money, then you go out all night and sleep til noon. You don't even pay rent!

Jimmy: I did!

Whatsername: An IOU doesn't count.

Jimmy: Dammit…

Whatsername: I think you need to get a job.

Jimmy: But I have a job.

Whatsername: A REAL JOB! Johnny has a real job.

Jimmy: Johnny's a washed up loser and you only like him because you think he has a nice ass.

Whatsername: NO….that's not the only reason…it's a big factor, but—OK WE'RE OFF TOPIC!

Jimmy: *laughs*

Whatsername: YOU'RE GETTING A JOB!

Jimmy: Make me.

Whatsername: *hands him a filled out application* Already did.

Jimmy: *grabs application* I WASN'T SERIOUS!

Whatsername: *laughs*

Jimmy: Where is this even from? *looks at logo* Oh no….NO.

Whatsername: Oh yes…

Jimmy: I'M NOT WORKING AT FUCKING MCDONALDS!

Whatsername: *bursts out laughing more*

Jimmy: *grumbles* I'm not turning it in…

Whatsername: Ok, then I'll do it.

Jimmy: NO!

Whatsername: Too late…I sent one in weeks ago. They hired you in a flash.

Jimmy: YOU LYING BITCH! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Whatsername: Very possible. Now get ready…you start your shift today…

Jimmy: *grumbles* fucking bitch….

Whatsername: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Jimmy: *runs from the room*

***later***

Jimmy: *in awkward McDonald's employee clothing*

Boss: Well, hello there! I'm your boss!

Jimmy: I have a boss?

Boss: Yes! I tell you what to do and stuff!

Jimmy: No one tells me what to do, bastard.

Boss: You're new at this aren't you?

Jimmy: Yeah.

Boss: Well, ok! So first we're gonna start you off at the register. It's a simple job. All you have to do is take orders and collect the money.

Jimmy: *shrugs* I guess I can do that.

Boss: Good for you! Now, I'll be in my office and I'll come to check on you in a little bit. *leaves*

Jimmy: Huh. This job thing isn't so hard. Yeah. I'll show her. I can so totally work.

Customer: Oh, hi. Um, can I get a um….uh….

Jimmy: …..

Customer: Um….

Jimmy: Today would be nice…

Customer: Uh….

Jimmy: Ok, new rule. If you don't know what you want DON'T GET IN FUCKING LINE!

Customer: Well, excuse me!

Jimmy: Excuse yourself, you and your fat ass.

Customer: *appalled*

Jimmy: Yeah, that's right. You're fat.

Customer: *runs out* I'M GOING BACK TO JENNY CRAIG!

Woman Customer: *walks up cautiously* Can I get a Happy Meal for my son?

Jimmy: I dunno. Can you?

Woman Customer: Yes. I would like that.

Jimmy: You know what I would like? To get in your pants, but we all can't get what we want, now can we?

Woman Customer: EXCUSE ME?

Jimmy: What, am I making you uncomfortable?

Woman Customer: *nods*

Jimmy: Awesome. That means this job is working.

Woman Customer: *slaps him and walks away*

Jimmy: *hopping the counter* GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Boss: *running to him* JIMMY! NO! Bad boy…. *squirts him with water bottle like a dog* We do NOT harass customers or jump the counter or make threats…. I know this is your first day, but I'm giving you a warning. I'm afraid I have to move you to drive-in duty.

Jimmy: Eew. No.

Boss: GO!

***later***

Jimmy: *sighing and twiddling his thumbs*

*car pulls up*

Guy in the Car: *snickering* Hi.

Jimmy: Hi.

Guy in the Car: Do you steam your buns? *snickering*

Jimmy: Yeah. All the time.

Guy in the Car:…..

Jimmy: Who the fuck is this?

Guy in the Car: No one! You don't know me!

Jimmy: Is this Will?

Guy in the Car: NO! *zooms off*

Jimmy: FUCKING JACKASS! *grumbles*

Car #2: Hi, can I order a…

Jimmy: *groan*

***50 cars later***

Jimmy: Welcome to fucking McDonalds…where health issues obviously don't matter. Place your fucking order or don't waste my fucking time…Wait, don't you fucking drive away! COME BACK HERE, FUCKER!

Boss: Uh, Jimmy, seeing as you were generally unsuccessful there, we're gonna have to put you in the back. Hope you can cook!

Jimmy: *gets pushed to the back*

Theo: *popping out from the fry greasers* JIMMY? Wait..GODDAMMIT THIS IS HOT! *jumps out*

Jimmy: NOOOO! PLEASE TAKE ME BACK UP FRONT!

Theo: *huggles Jimmy* YAAAAAAAY!

Jimmy: NOOO! I'M BEING RAPED!

Theo: I didn't know you worked here!

Jimmy: Just started…*under his breath* and just quit too…

Theo: THAT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING. HEY CO-WORKERS, LOOK! IT'S JIMMY!

Co-Workers: *grumble and go back to work*

Theo: They'll come around eventually.

Jimmy: Great…so…now what?

Theo: I dunno…make food fried in grease…

Jimmy: Sounds boring.

Theo: Yeah…

Jimmy: How 'bout we, uh…lighten it up? *pulls out drugs*

Theo: OH MY GOD! I'M GETTING HIGH WITH SAINT FUCKING JIMMY IN THE BACK OF A MCDONALD'S!

Jimmy: DON'T SCREAM THAT!

Theo: Sorry…I, you know….got excited.

***thirty minutes later***

Both: *laughing their asses off for no reason*

Theo: Oh my God I love laughing my ass of for no reason…

Jimmy: Wait…what?

Theo: I dunno…

Both: *laugh again*

Jimmy: Oh Jesus, I haven't acted like this on a high since…well…never.

Theo: it's the fumes…

Boss: Uh, Jimmy? Can I see you for a second.

Jimmy: *laughing still* Ok….

Boss: Can you please explain to me why this customer asked for a Big Mac and then received said Big Mac with a used condom on it?

Jimmy: Eew. Please tell me they didn't put that in their mouth…

Boss: THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

Jimmy: I dunno…I don't carry that shit around. THEO. STOP PUTTING CONDOMS IN THE FOOD.

Theo: I'M NOT.

Jimmy: Aw, shit that was me…

Boss: Are you…impaired in any way?

Jimmy: You mean like retarded? HELL NO! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

Boss: No. Are you high?

Jimmy: Fuck. What gave it away?

Boss: Oh, I dunno…maybe the bag of heroin in your hand.

Jimmy: *giggles* Oops…

Boss: Yeah. You're fired.

Jimmy: NO. YOU CAN'T FIRE ME. I QUIT.

Boss: Ok! Even easier! GOODBYE!

Jimmy: Whatever… *kicks over a garbage can* JIMMY'S OUT, BITCHES! *He leaves*

Theo: Aw, dammit…back in the fry grease…

***later***

Jimmy: *getting home*

Whatsername: How was your first day at work?

Jimmy: I quit.

Whatsername:….

Jimmy: The boss was a jackass. Not to mention I got raped by Theo in the back room.

Whatsername: O….k….

Jimmy: I'm so done with working….

Whatsername: Ok….but…how do you feel about Wal-Mart?

Jimmy: Motherfucker….

**A/N: Well, time to go look for a job…. See ya!**

**Reviews?**


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